This is September 13, 1982. A day before, I was born. This is why I'm so ugly in the picture. That's my mother holding me. She was 25 at the time, and it's scary, but I look a lot like her now. But, you'll see that later. Anyway, aren't I the most hideous baby you've ever seen? I really do think I was ugly... not that I improved [much] in later years... damn being born was a traumatic experience...
And here I am again with my mother, only a few days old. (I was a few days old, my mother was still 25.) I look even uglier in this picture. Just to give you an idea.
This picture has too fucking much pink. And I'm still ugly, damn it, even though I'm a couple months old!
I'm wearing pink again. This picture was taken in the spring of 1983, so I was a few months old and still a very happy only child. See that girl carrying me? The one with the blonde hair and the red jacket? Her name is Nancy. She's 9 in this picture. She's also my aunt. See that other little girl? The one with the brown hair and the blue jacket? That's my cousin Desi. (Short for Desirea! She was NOT named after Desi Arnaz!) She was 3 when this picture was taken. As you can see, there is no such thing as a generation in my family...
This was taken on December 20, 1985, the day after my sister was born. I still liked her then. I was also still blonde way back then. (I know, I know, you're just glad that I finally have hair... but still...) When my mother saw this picture, she said I was posing. She's also told me that when I was little, I wanted to use maxi pads as band-aids. I mean, what else could they possibly be used for?! :)
A rare moment of harmony with my brother and sister. We're all fucking blonde. That sucks. Actually, my brother and sister are still fucking blonde. So. I was three, my sister was a couple days old, and my brother was 2 in this picture. This was taken I think two days after the previous pic.
Hey, I got older! This is my second grade school picture. Well, part of it. I was seven. And I have lots of hair. Still blonde, though.
It's turning brown! It's turning brown!!! Look, my hair's not so blonde anymore! And I got older, too! This is my fifth grade school picture, and I was 10. I remember that day very clearly. It was November, it was freezing, and I was wearing a purple skirt that didn't even get into the picture.
I should also note that even though this picture was taken 6 years ago, I still look very much the same. Except I'm an inch taller and much fatter. And I would never wear a skirt for a school picture. Especially a purple one.
Why do I keep skipping years? First I was just born, then I was three, then I was seven, then I was ten, and now I'm thirteen. Yeah. See my hair? My brown hair? Well, that's the shortest it will EVER be. I can't have short hair. My face is too fat. That's Vivien next to me. I haven't seen her since shortly after this picture was taken, at the end of 8th grade. Not that you care. You incondiserate, insensitive bastard.
This is me and my favorite sentence from Russian 1. Okay, I need to slow down. This pic is from the end of my freshman year. I was 14 1/2. I hadn't cut my hair since a week before the previous picture was taken. Look, you can see my wonderful ID that we all love so much... at least it's flipped over so that you can't the picture. This was taken in T3, where I used to have Russian, before Steimel got centered around the distance learning lab... oh, for those of you who are so stupid that you don't know Russian, it says "We have many toilets."
I'm not hurting the damn cat. If you try to give me an animal rights lecture, I'll kick your ass. I'm the fucking ARA here! Remember that! I think I'm eating a brownie in this picture. I'm not quite sure. Just so you know, my brownies are vegan. They also make me break out for two weeks. This was taken in the fall of '97.
What a lovely view of my brown hair. I still hadn't cut it since 8th grade, and this is fall 1997 again. I've cut it a couple times since then, though, so this picture is completely misleading.
Yes, I am a witch, and no, I don't usually dress like that. This was Halloween 1997, and I decided to have a little fun. That is, however, my real ritual broom. That means that if you touch it, I'll hurt you.
We look really stupid in this picture, but this is me with Nita in front of my locker sophomore year.
These are more Slavic Honor Society pictures... I'm dressed up. That's scary. I also look like Morticia Addams... really, I don't think that these look like me. I mean, I really am that pale, but the face isn't right... Oh, btw, these are late April 1998. I think it was the 27th.
This is me (all black) with Erin on July 29, 1998, before the Smashing Pumpkins concert. This picture sucks, but the concert KICKED ASS!!! At least now you can see what I did to my hair...
This is also from before the Pumpkins concert... I was trying to take the camera from my brother. At least in this picture, you can actually see that I dyed my hair red. This is really sucky, though, so I pity you for having to look at this.
This is my school picture from my junior year... here's the black hair. I think I look weird and my hair's longer now... someone once informed me that I'm not very photogenic. As if I didn't know that already...
This is me on Halloween of 1998, and I have no idea why it took me so long to get this picture online. But it did, so here it is...
Me blinking on the ferry going to see the Statue of Liberty in April 1999.
My senior picture. It was a riot getting these pictures done because I'm not a senior or anything; it kind of felt like I was doing some bizarre wrathful thing, and that made me happy. The photographer couldn't get me to smile, but he couldn't get that smirk to go away, and if you saw the 12 proofs I did, you would know that.
