Math Jokes

This is going to be really pathetic right now. Here's a list of some of the things we'll be bringing to you soon on this site:

Things to say and do to show that you really understand
Funny things your teacher may do that you won't notice unless you watch for them
Things that we have written in our math notes

In the meantime, here's something rather interesting. We had the same math teacher for two years in a row, so we really knew what to say to annoy him. :) This teacher would also give us practice tests a couple days before each test so that we would [theoretically] ask questions and know how to do everything on the test. In reality, they didn't help at all. Anyway, there was a lot of confusion about the practice tests because they seemed to look a LOT like the real ones. The following event might have happened in our class while taking a practice test. Note: Mary, Bob, and Bill are not real students. They're people that we have created because there were too many people involved in this and it's too hard to remember who said what. This is a simulated conversation, but most of these comments were actually made before a practice test.

Mr. G: Here, take a test.
Bob: This is the test?!
Mr. G: No! *smacks Bob upside the head with the stack of practice tests* It's the practice test! *is really mad*
Bob: Oh...
Mary: *looks at her test* Can we write on these?
Mr. G: Do you think you can write on it?!
Mary: *thinks for a moment* No?
Mr. G: *exasperated* Yes, of course you can write on the paper!!! You can always write on the paper!! Why would this be any different?!
Mary: I don't know, I just thought that maybe...

*Action Figure Nita enters the room with her sidekick, Chlorine Girl* Action Figure Nita: Hi!!!
Mr. G: Oh, I have to ask you about It's Ac...
Action Figure Nita: Can't talk about that right now! I have to take my practice test and then save the world!!
Chlorine Girl: This is the practice test? I never know when we're going to have tests in this class...
Mr. G: Well, I announced it a couple days ago.
Chlorine Girl: I know, but I don't listen to those things. *looks at her test* We didn't learn how to do these!
Mr. G: How to do what?
Action Figure Nita: *looks over* Chlorine Girl, those are only exponents...
Chlorine Girl: Well, I'm stupid!!!
Action Figure Nita: Okay. *smiles cheerfully*
Mr. G: Yes, you're right, you're stupid, Chlorine Girl. You're so stupid that I don't know how you managed to get into this class. In fact, I don't know how you even passed kindergarten!!! You are so stupid!!!
Bill: Why are you so mad? Did the Yankees lose last night?
Mr. G: Why do you behave like this? You're all very smart kids, and I brag about you all the time. You're also smarter than my 5th period class. It's true!
Bill: Then can we use calculators on this?
Mr. G: It's the practice test!!! Of course you can use your calculator on it!!!
Mary: Is this the practice test or the real thing?
Mr. G: What did I just say?
Mary: I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.
Mr. G: Yes, this is the practice test.
Mary: Okay. So can we use a calculator?
Mr. G: I don't feel like teaching anymore. Let's just watch Springer....
*the class cheers*

Note: The objective of every class was to watch Springer.

Tales from the Calculus

Unfortunately, fate had been written so as to place Action Figure Nita and Chlorine Girl, for the third year in a row, in the same math class. Very odd things are sometimes said and done in this class... these are some random quotes and tales from calc...

"Oh maaaaaaaan!"
"Doggone it!"
We've got calc fourth period, right after an Algebra 1 class. Quite often, the teacher has Algebra worksheets and warm-ups out when we come into class... when this happens, the teacher is usually greeted with a nervous "We don't have to do that, do we? I don't remember how to do that..."
When doing an e/d proof, our teacher was trying to show us that we had to round our numbers at the end to create a smaller interval. She then wrote two d intervals on the board, on on top of the other. She then asked us "Which of these intervals is correct, the one on the top or the one on the bottom." One particularly obnoxious and annoying student confidently replied "The one on the left!!!"
We were doing some kind of annoying problem, I don't remember what it was, but we didn't like it. The teacher had asked us how to solve it and we said "Use the calculator." She then showed us some of her calculations on her overhead sheet thingies, and how the solutions were irrational. She had then written on the overhead that at this point, you should use your calculator. The class cheered.
(While cancelling out zeros in a problem) "Zap zap zap zap."

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