The Weird world of Chlorine Girl

Orphaned at the young age of 63, Chlorine girl is neither a girl nor a halogen. I know that this is a complete shock to most of you, but it is the sad truth, and I, Action Figure Nita, must tell it like it is. But first things first. I first met the "person" you know and love as Chlorine Girl while she was wandering aimlessly in search for the mysterious room which had a blinking Algebra sign outside the door. Seeking guidance from her radian trig table, and just getting more confused because her calculator gave the answers in degrees, she moaned in frustration. As a superhero, it was my duty to save those in trouble. I materialized out of the locker area where I had been beating up freshmen and stealing their lunch money, and whisked out my trusty log table. One grateful look from the disheveled Samoan and I knew that we had a friendship which would endure through the ages. So we lived happily ever after. Not!!!

What kind of a page do you think we're running here anyway? So, I decided that I needed someone to do my drudge work so I could spend more time seducing hapless intelligent males who could spell their names in elements and wished to become quantum physicists. After all, why do I have to know how to add quotients of fractions? All you need to remember is that division by 0 always solves every single problem, and is the meaning of life. But, shh!! Don't tell anyone I've told you...

Anyway, although I know you're all dying to learn more about my illustrious life, we must return to the saga of Chlorine girl. Some vital statistics, the product of the improbable conjugation (and I don't mean verbs here)of a maternal and paternal genetic contributor, the wolves howled and it stormed at the time of her birth, June 6th, in the year 6 BC. That's 6/6/6, for all of you slow ones out there.

In any case, Cl Girl soon showed a remarkable aptitude for ...you guessed it! Calculus. She rederived every major (and minor) equation in the 1st edition of the crappy Calculus textbook whose 2nd edition would be widely used ...in PG County. After satisfying herself that the professors at MIT were retards, she set about to write a new Calculus tetbook of deifferential equatoins. She decided to begin with a chapter on bear population growth.