Who Will Shave Your Pits?

I wrote this song with Erin, with help from Marcie, as I did in "World Wide Web", the parody of "Spiderwebs." This song is about a girl who doesn't want to shave her pits, and there are these disgusting "bushes" under her arms, so we are trying desperately to persuade her to shave.
People realize that you've gotta shave

You lift your arms and shampoo every day

Hold my calls, while I'm in these cold, wet walls

I've gotta shave, but it's not for me

I've got to get a little more cream, and a razor, too

Shaving's not for me, but maybe for you

But, who will shave your pits

When it comes to the stench now

Oh, oh, shave your pits

After those lies that you told, girl

Who will shave your pits

If you won't shave your own

We try to hide them, try to wax them, try to bleach them

I'm glad I shave, or I'd be looking like you

Another day, another try, another razor, another towel

Gave up when the hair refused to go

So we'll pray that it'll just go away

Rather than bloody razors that we think are our friends

We're so worried about shaving our pits

Afraid the hair will grow and grow

Before we ever begin

But, who will shave your pits

When it comes to the stench now

Oh, oh, shave your pits

After those lies that you told, girl

Who will shave your pits

If you won't shave your own

Some are hairless, some are hairy, some are just plain bare

You've got a lot of insecurity

Cause your pits are unacceptable

There are hairs to shave

Cause they just won't go away

Shaving's like the devil

And I won't do it today

You say that you love them

But if they're hairy, you run

I ain't gonna shave, sweetheart,

Cause it's just one of those things

Those things, like strings you gotta cut

So get into the tub, girls, and shave those pits

But, who will shave your pits

When it comes to the stench now

Oh, oh, shave your pits

After those lies that you told, girl

Who will shave your pits

If you won't shave your own


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