The Owl

In my environmental science class, we dissected owl pellets. (After an owl eats his meal, he coughs up a pellet of fur and bones. No animals were harmed by us to dissect the pellet, so I have no ethical concerns with this.) We were then told to write poems about owls and owl pellets... Kari and I chose to write ours in the form of a parody of Edgar Allan Poe's (that guy who married his 13 year old cousin, Virginia, and died drunken in the streets of Baltimore) "The Raven."

There once was a little owl named Stan
He lived in a barn
Whenever he tried to catch a mouse, it ran
Oh darn!

Quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

Our adorable little friend
Searched the woodlands far and wide
And when he came upon the end
You'd never believe what he'd find:

A thicket full of helpless mice
He thought they'd taste very nice

Quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

So there the owl would come to hunt
Thrilled by this abundance of prey
He found a scrawny little runt
And thought, "Perhaps I'll feast today."

But quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

All of a sudden, his eyes shot red
His stomach expanded and growled
Within an instant, the mouse was dead
The very next day, the owl again prowled

Quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

He returned to the very same place
Gluttonous, grotesque, and old
He devoured the entire rodent race
His eyes grew blue and cold

Still, quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

Suddenly, he realized his mouth was full
Stuffed sickeningly full of fluff and bones
He began to belch and wretch and push and pull
And spat out a pellet with many moans

But still, quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

And poor Stan, his innocence lost
Went out yet again to that very grove
And realized what his gluttony had cost
Upon finding it empty, into a tree his head he drove

Quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

He enjoyed dining on mice, shrews, and birds
He liked them baked, boiled, and fried
Who'd have thought it so absurd
When he paused, fell over, and died?

No longer quoth the owl, "I want some more!"

Copyright Laura Foch and Kari Linstrom

November 19, 1998

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